Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
