OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
