He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
