Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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