There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
