I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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