chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this beer tastes like vomit already
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize