I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
