My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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