We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
