Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize