definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
