Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Pooping to opera.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
