That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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