I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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