and i looked up. we had an audience...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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