she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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