I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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