lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
