So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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