I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize