Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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