he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
