HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
