She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
