Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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