on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
