I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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