Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
