The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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