I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
