but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
