Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
