i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
