Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
...so i touched it.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
