just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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