Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
