You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
