is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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