I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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