Banned from zoo.
Again?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize