I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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