When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My ass is underappreciated
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
