so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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