Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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