I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
only if we run a train.
done.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
