Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
