her vagine was all disorganized.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
