I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
