I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
