okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
