i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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