Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
