Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
