I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
