When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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