The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize