i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
