Where is the hickey?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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