I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
