shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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