It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
