im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
