I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
