she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
