thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
