wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
