Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
