You work out of a Hotel?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
