just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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