well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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