paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you had me at cake vodka
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize