part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
