We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
