I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
